随便

One hour early for work, I decided to join the elder in the hall to watch the Olympics opening ceremony.

There are around 30 residents in the hall, most of them were actually sleeping during watching the TV. One resident kept walking around with her frame. She said thank you to me and kissed my hands when I helped to tidy her clothes, which made me suddently fell in sadness. They are so easy to be satisfied now. Only few residents in my nursing home have regular visitors, while most of them dont have many chance to see the family members. They stay in the building for the whole day, week or even year without going outside. They have to rely on staff for their eating, toileting, dressing and showering. When the staff are rough and rude, they are unable to complaint because almost all of them have dementia. Their lives are just here for three meals in each day. Some of them are only visited by family in Christmas day.

I am so sad. I am so afraid my life is going in this way. When I come to this age, I will become one of them...I feel so lonely at this moment. I cant feel happy by the money I earns, the bright future after I graduates, all I want is to find somebody who I can share my life with him and pass the endless lonely and disappointed days until the moment God takes me home. God's words and love is precious in our lives but probably no enough for us because of our weakness. He creates a woman for Adam because he knows it is not good for him to live alone. He know our born character of loneliness and emptiness and the indeed need for companies.

God, please grant me with strength and wisdom with your words, you know I am such a weak creature, be with me and never leave me. Love me.

i am goint to bed now, pray for me
yoyo 23:17:05
okay we did it,and doing it

that's all.Night